Living With and Without Cancer

This might end up being a post that I regularly update- I’m not sure yet.

“I’m not sure yet” pretty much sums up my life lately, both with and without cancer.

It’s almost mid August and I still mentally feel like it’s June (before I had my first cancer removal surgery). That’s weird. It’s weird that I still expect to celebrate my birthday and July 4th, and do all sorts of other summery things..but those have already passed.

I’m here, but I’m not here. That’s also strange. I’m here, but it’s not the me that was here before I had surgery. My entire body is different now.

I can’t even process alcohol the same way. I had 2 small drinks and thought I was dying the next day. I threw up all morning and in to the afternoon. That’s never happened in all my younger good-time-having years.

What worked for me to maintain my figure doesn’t work anymore now that I don’t have a thyroid.

I have developed a small protruding belly. I can’t run as fast as I used to be able to. I don’t feel as motivated to lose the weight because nothing I do seems to work.

I worry I’ll get to the point where I say “meh, I can’t get back to where I was- might as well have this big [soft pretzel/doughnut/piece of pizza/12 inch sub sandwhich]…” The old me would have turned my nose up at that junk.

I already ate well and watched my caloric intake before. I am swimming and running/walking on alternating days (or as weather permits). I wear my weight loss workout clothing, but I still can’t break through my post-op weight gain.

It’s only 4 to 5 pounds, but on my petite frame it sits right on my stomach, which is really irritating. I know, I know- I’m thankful to be alive-really. I just miss the old me, the body I worked hard for. The body that responded correctly to my input and exercise. I can’t figure out what to do to get back there, or if it’s even possible.

The scar on my collar bone makes planking uncomfortable, but I started again today anyway.

My doctor told me I was eating too few calories for a post-op healing body (at 1,000-1300 a day, which is what I was eating before surgery). but I can’t eat more. My stomach is much smaller than it used to be a few years ago.

I’m sick, but I’m not sick. I look fine, except for my scar. I’m struggling at work to keep up with my projects and not be the weakest member of the team. I’ve never been weak and inefficient, but I am now.

I have to ask for help, I have to turn down projects, I have to explain to coworkers from other teams who don’t know me and get frustrated with my work that “hey, I’m normally not this stupid/inefficient/inept at my job but I was diagnosed with cancer this summer and I’m trying my best to keep up-I’m sorry.”

Asking for understanding and forgiveness from others puts me at a disadvantage- it makes me look weak. They’re nicer to me and more understanding afterward I talk to them about it, but I don’t like being the weakest link. I feel like they feel sorry for me, and I hate that feeling.

Cancer has taken a lot of people I love from me in the past, and now it’s taken some things I loved about me away, too.

 

My septorhinoplasty and thyroidectomy

In the spring of 2014 I discovered that my thyroid cyst from last year turned into a tumor and was growing steadily.

I am at an air base in Japan on my husband’s military orders, so first I had to go off base to a Japanese hospital to have the needle aspiration biopsy done because the base hospital couldn’t provide this service.

The surgeon at Yokota still needed to examine me first and noticed that I had a severely damaged nose from an injury I received in kindergarten. A girl hit me over the head with her heavy 1990’s lunchbox complete with an old, heavy thermos and my nose has remained broken ever since. After he performed some initial breathing tests I was amazed at the difference that being unobstructed made and he agreed to revisit my nose problem after I had some more work on my thyroid done.

The second appointment was a consultation at St. Luke’s International Hospital in Tokyo, about 2 hours one way by train. I had to visit the bi-lingual doctor, then the surgeon for the needle biopsy, then re-visit the first Japanese doctor so that I could get the results back in English. February and March were exhausting with the back and forth appointments.

The FNA (fine needle aspiration) here was an experience I’ll never forget because Japanese medicine doesn’t use anesthesia like American medicine does. The doctor looked at me and said “don’t breathe, don’t swallow, don’t talk”  before shoving he long, thin needle into the left side of my throat. The needle could have been short, for all I know-it just felt like it was a foot long. My brain had no time to register what happened, so the pain didn’t come until an hour later.

He gathered cells twice (he called the needle insertions “punches”) and that still only took 10 minutes; the same procedure took 45 minutes with anesthesia last year in America.

The FNA results came back clear for cellular cancer, but the doctors were concerned with what we couldn’t see so I was sent back to Yokota to biopsy the tumor itself.

Here is another difference between eastern and western medicine; the Japanese doctors did not want to remove any part of the thyroid and only wanted to only take the tumor, but all the American doctors wanted to take both the mass and half my left thyroid.

Now I was faced with the decision of the actual surgery. I received a referral to the naval base even farther south (about 3.5 hours by train one way) and it was the same process. A consultation, a return trip for the surgery, and a lengthy stay.

I was really frustrated with the idea that I would have to miss more work to go even further away so I emailed the ENT surgeon I first met at Yokota.

This was around late April and as it turns out my surgeon was set to leave Yokota Air Base in July, so that is why my referral was for the naval base. I was able to talk with the surgeon and get him to accept my surgery before he left- both of them, actually. We decided that he would do both the  septorhinoplasty and thyroidectomy at the same time. The  thyroidectomy took priority, of course, and would be the first procedure he would do for me.

My surgery was the morning of May 28, 2014 and this is the story of my surgery and recovery.

I have never had surgery before, except for having my wisdom teeth removed, so I was pretty anxious about being down for so many weeks.

Luckily all of our bills, deposits, and withdraws are automatic so I had nothing to worry about there. I highly suggest you put as much of your life on “auto pilot”  as possible, it will make your life so much easier.

I finished graduate school a few weeks ago, so I have no loose ends to tie there, either. I only had to get my work assignments and tasks set up so that I can easily have someone followup on my work.

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Wednesday after waking up from surgery

It took 3 times to get the IV into my arm, and my wrists have the bruises to prove it.

The last full day I remember is Tuesday, and that feels really weird to have lost so many days.

Immediately after the surgery I felt great, which really alarmed me because I wasn’t sure if that was the drugs, or if I really did feel okay. I was eating, walking, and sleeping relatively well. I had crackers that night, and the morning later was able to eat everything on my hospital tray.

The incision on my throat is fine, and I have minimal pain and discomfort. I can’t really put my head all the way back, but that’s no big deal.

My nose? That’s another story. I never expected the most painful and irritating of the two procedures would be my nose, even though I read about nose work beforehand and expected the itching. I’ve got both a nose cast on the outside and splints on the inside, and the itching is driving me crazy.

May 31 was the worst day for swelling so far because it felt like my nose was going to break my cast in two. I was able to get the swelling down with ice packs throughout the night. June 1 I was reduced to putting on gloves while I slept because I had been waking up scratching my nose and the rest of my body like crazy.

The next day I had to file my newly-grown nails down quite a bit just to avoid accidentally hurting myself. Benedryl isn’t dealing with the itching anymore, either, but luckily I had a prescription for itching already.

I’m taking my pain medicine on schedule, and have not needed to take the full dosage but a few times, so I’m happy with that.

Overall it feels like have serious sinus pressure and/or a cold because of the nose pressure, my need to carry around a Kleenex to catch drips, and having to sleep propped up at at angle so I can breathe.

The saline flushes 4 times a day has already become my least favorite thing to do during this whole recovery process.

By Sunday the bruising is starting to change colors from black to yellow. My nose cast comes off this coming Wednesday and I’m really excited about that.

I have had some light numbness on my left fingers since the surgery and have read that it might be a calcium deficiency, but I’ll wait for my doctor to monitor my thyroid levels to see what he thinks.

Wednesday 6/4

1 week post-op and I had the cast and splints removed today.

The ends of the splints are wider than my nostril is, so the initial pull was both painful and satisfying as it passed though. There there was the weird sensation of what felt like pulling spaghetti through my nose (that was the rest of the splint).

Then I had to experience that again on the other nostril. While it didn’t hurt enough to make me cry from pain, the pulling and tugging around my nose area made my eyes water and tears began to run down my cheeks.

Then the cast came off. I expected that to hurt worse than the splints, but the cast was no big deal. Immediately after everything removed I recognized how freely I could breath.

My doctor says that my recovery experience isn’t typical and that I am bouncing back earlier than most people do. Now this could just be him trying to make me feel good, but I wanted to mention it here since other people may have a harder time than I did.

I was cleared to go back to work as soon early as Friday and I will be back to scuba diving and will get to try sky diving in about 2 months post-op.

I asked about the light numbness in my fingers and he said that, considering I had 2 procedures that was about 4 hour long, that he thinks the tingle comes from how they position your hand tightly against your leg during the surgery and that the tingling sensation should go away in a few weeks.

While I know I am swollen, I see a big difference already- no crooked nose and no bump! And most importantly, I can breathe correctly!

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2 weeks post-op 6/11

Wednesday 6/11

Today marks 2 weeks post-op.

6/4 was the last day I used the pain medication, so I’ve been managing my pain very well. Most of the bruising is gone and I’m only left with some light yellowing on my cheek and the throat incision.

The numbness in my fingers is nearly gone and I’ve been able to crinkle my nose when I smile for the past few days, as well.

About 4 days ago I noticed a very strange droop/sag in both cheeks and I panicked.

It looked like I needed a facelift before I was 30. I emailed my doctor and he said it was likely just swelling and not to worry.

In the days since the swelling has indeed gone done and my cheeks are starting to look normal again.

I still have some swelling around my nose and cheeks and a little numbness on the tip of my nose, but I’m still breathing well and everything seems to be working out.

I did, however, get news yesterday that my biopsy results did come back positive for cancer.

The tumor had papillary thyroid cancer with a follicular variant. The doctors say that this is very treatable and My husband and I are staying positive and we both feel really going about it.

I’m scheduled for another surgery later this month to remove my right thyroid just to err on the side of caution. I’ll be on a thyroid supplement for the rest of my life, but it’s better than the alternative.

The other thyroid will be biopsied, as well, but it will be about another 2 weeks from the date of surgery to find out if they discovered any more cancerous tissue.

I will keep this post updated.

3 weeks, 2 days post-op

3 weeks, 2 days post-op

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Monday August 4

It’s August now and I’m recovering pretty well. The tip of my nose still feels pretty stiff, but it’s not painful or uncomfortable.

My second thyroid surgery was successful and I was told I am cancer free at the moment, so that’s great news. That scar is healing up nicely and I feel so much better without the cancer in my body.

I did end up gaining 4-6 pounds after the second surgery, but I am working on getting that under control. Sometimes a few pounds take more work to lose than double-digits.

Overall I’m glad to have had the procedures, even though surgery and recovery took up the majority of the summer. I’m having some trouble remembering that it is August already because it still feels like the beginning of summer for me.

I hope writing about my experience can help someone who is looking to have either of these procedures done!

If you’re about to have one of these operations done-stay strong. Wishing you a smooth surgery and recovery.

Dyson Ball DC24 Review

I have toyed with the idea of buying a Dyson ball vacuum for a few years now but I could never justify spending over $300 for a vacuum cleaner…until I used one.

I looked after a neighbor’s cat a few weeks ago and she had a Dyson that I used to clean up one of the cat’s messes. It was like the first time I ever used an iPhone. I knew what my next big purchase would be.

Then I got busy with work and school and forgot about it, but my thoughtful husband continued to price Dysons on Amazon for me. We are living in Japan now with a military APO address so not only does it take forever for things to get here sometimes sellers won’t ship to APO so that adds another variable into the price-checking mix.

He found a refurbished unit for $279 shipped and that makes this thifty lady very happy.

It arrived yesterday after about 2 weeks and I’ve been playing with it today.

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The difference between the Dyson DC24 and my Hoover Elite Rewind are obvious just from seeing them side by side.

The Dyson is smaller, lighter, and more agile. The Dyson’s handle telescopes to make it even  more compact when you store it away.

I can hold the Dyson off the ground with 1 finger; I can barely hold the Hoover off the ground  with one hand.

The suction is strong, though I wish I had remembered to vacuum with the Hoover then go  over it with the Dyson to see what the Dyson picked up.

The color was a coincidence since David just went for the least expensive ball model on Amazon with Prime shipping, but the red is nice. The Hoover’s finish is more shiny, though (get it together, Dyson! People like shiny things!)

Pros of the Dyson:

  • Light
  • Nimble
  • Quiet (my cats don’t even wake up when I use it)
  • Compact
  • Easy to empty

Cons:

  • No retracting cord
  • Shorter cord than I’m used to
  • Smaller canister

From Amazon:

Dyson DC24

  • Ultra-lightweight and compact – weighs only 11.65 lbs. and wand compresses for easy storage
  • Patented Root Cyclone technology ensures constant suction as you vacuum
  • Expelled air has up to 150 times less mold and bacteria than the air you breathe
  • No extra costs – lifetime washable HEPA filter and no bags to buy
  • Tough, see-through polycarbonate Clear Bin empties with the push of a button Motor mounted in ball for a lower center of gravity and increased ease of steering

Hoove Elite Auto-Rewind

  • Bagless upright vacuum cleaner with powerful 12 amp motor
  • 14-1/2-inch-wide cleaning path; 7 height settings; air-flow indicator; HEPA filter
  • Headlight; 24-foot auto-rewind cord; stretch hose for extended reach
  • Crevice wand, dusting brush/upholstery tool, and pet-hair tool included

The verdict? If you want something light and nimble and can cough up the cash for a Dyson ball then go for it because I’m very happy with this purchase.

Our First Impression Of Japan

*This is a draft that I never finished-we’ve been living in Japan for almost 3 months now.

Here is our first impression of our new adventure, originally written December 1, 2013

We’ve moved to Yokota Air Base, Japan and it is amazing, even though we arrived the day before Thanksgiving and all the offices were closed.

The 12 hour flight was manageable. The cats were in cabin with us and didn’t cry at all except for takeoff and landing when the pressure changed. Otherwise they were quiet and slept un-medicated. I was quite sure we would have to give them bendryl or something but they wouldn’t take it and still slept. I put them in the empty seat in our row and opened their kennel lids to pet them. Erik crawled into my lap under the blanket and since it was an overnight flight it went unnoticed. That made for a nice cuddly flight except for he is so heavy that he put my legs to sleep a few times.

We knew Japan was going to be awesome when we got off the plane and the luggage was waiting on us at the carousel. We had to go through immigration so we seemed to be the last to get our bags. In America you wait for 30 minutes for your luggage to get out to you, but here they were ready before we were.

We hired a chauffeur so we could come from the airport to the base with the cats. The regular shuttle doesn’t allow cats and we didn’t want to put them through additional stress. It took about 3 hours to get from Narita to Yokota with traffic and we fell asleep a few times but stayed awake long enough to see the Rainbow bridge and Tokyo Tower.

The next morning we had got a tour and had a traditional Thanksgiving lunch with some friends we knew from Little Rock Air Force Base. We went home to sleep off the jet lag shortly after.

It’s Monday now and while I’m still waking up at 3 am or so I no longer get tired at  4pm.

Friday we drove around Fussa and had our first taste of conveyor belt sushi. We had a stack of plates, a beer, and soup and it only cost $20 between us. It was just as delicious as the expensive places we would frequent in the states and was a fraction of the cost.

Saturday we went took the train into Akihabara (Electric City) and Harajuku (a trendy/cute shopping district) and had a wonderful time. Once we got out of the Akihabara station I felt like spinning around in the street like Mary Tyler Moore.

The Akihabara I saw was made up of a lot of duty free shops, anime, electronics, and adult gifts/movies. The stores there are 5-6 levels so we got quite the work out. I did not go up to the “adult” stores even though I wanted to simply because there were no other women anywhere and I didn’t want to upset any of the Japanese men.

I was waiting outside for David and Austin in front of what I now believe to be a porn store only because some of the nerdy Japanese guys stopped and stared, giggled and looked up the staircase (which had an anime girl image on the steps) so I’m going to have to be more careful. It was hot pink so I just thought it was a cutesy store that hadn’t opened up yet (the front was still closed up)

I LOVE the train. Everyone is quiet and it is very peaceful. We ate in the train station and it only cost $6- which still will continue to amaze me.

Harajuku was very cool, but I only saw one Harajuku/Lolita girl. They had adorable clothes, but I just couldn’t bring myself to spend $50 on a coat.

I used a floor toilet in the train station and I must say it was a lot easier than I expected. There were bars to hold on to and toilet paper so that was a definite plus.

We headed back to Fussa because all the restaurants were closing to prepare for dinner so we visited CoCo’s (curry) for the first time. They have English menus. It was delicious, and I don’t like curry or spicy things. I got the mild base, but it was had just enough spice to be tasty without burning my mouth.

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Mario Cart IRL

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Hello Kitty in Akihabara

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Akihabara

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Akihabara

 

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Kappa Sushi

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Underwear capsule machine (new, not used. I’ve been told those are rare)

 

Living In Tornado Alley

We still have no electricity so David and I are at Starbucks mooching off their power and enjoying an overpriced high calorie caffeinated beverage. But at this point I’ve stopped caring about my caloric intake.

If you know me personally you know we are stationed in Oklahoma City while David is working on a special duty military assignment and if you’re watching the national news lately you know there have been devastating back to back tornadoes in our area.

5/19 in Shawnee, 5/20 in Moore and surrounding areas, and last night in Mustang, Yukon, OKC, and those surrounding areas, to be exact.

These storms have caused significant damage, injuries, and loss of life and last night we thought it was our turn.

The sky quickly got dark and began to look really dangerous as I was leaving Dell at 5:30 yesterday. I jokingly posted on Facebook about trying to beat the tornado home because I naively thought there was no way we could get hit twice in the same week. I had time to heat up a Healthy Choice microwave meal and eat half of it before the news reports started showing a strong vortex developing to the west of us and moving fast. And of course the condo we rent has no storm shelter.

David’s co-worker lost his home in the 5/20 Moore F5 tornado so we had put some thought into the kinds of things we’d need if we had to flee but we hadn’t put together a formal bug out bag and we had failed to make time to locate local shelters. We should have done that.

David and I quickly grabbed the cats, litter/litterbox, cat food, granola bars, bottled water, a blanket, medicine, firearms, and our small handheld firesafe and made for the car.

We headed east; there was no traffic yet. We waited for about 20 minutes in what seemed like a safe place, got gas, and thought we could head back towards the house. That’s when the tornado made a drastic turn south. Towards us. We immediately tried to go south, too, but so did everyone else.

The cell signal was spotty so we couldn’t locate shelters. In between the storm and everyone we know texting us both repeatedly we were lucky to have the news streaming and the gps working so we could try to locate side streets. I still have no idea how we were able to juggle all that and remain calm and focused.

We are lucky that we left the house when we did because that gave us a 5-10 minute lead and outran the tornado. Every time the weather crew was reporting activity on a specific street we had just passed it. We drove from 6:00 pm until 11:30 pm all over Oklahoma with 2 cats bouncing all over the car. Erik was surprisingly chill and laid down, but Phil was moewing his head off and running all over the car peering out the windows and leaving little kitten noseprint smears all over them.

behind us

behind us

The storm started turning into the shape of a horseshoe so no matter where we turned it looked like it was enveloping us. I looked at the people in the other cars. All of their expressions were the same. Somber and focused, except for the occasional beating of their hands on their steering wheel in a desperate attempt to urge the cars ahead of them forward. If only that had worked. Traffic was painfully slow, which only added to the urgency of our situation.

While trying to head west from Norman David got quiet and suddenly said “brace yourself. it’s coming.” I have no idea how he knew this; he must have seen something I hadn’t. We sat there holding hands tightly and petting the cats as the straight line winds pushed our car back and forth.

I don’t think we got any significant lift, but it was strong and it was frightening. Without saying a word I knew we were both prepared to die, and I was happy knowing I was with my little family. I have never before felt the kind of peace that I did in that moment. I knew where my family was. I knew I was loved. And I knew my life had meaning. Our grip on each other’s hand tightened as our car kept moving. The violent winds lasted only seconds, but it felt like so much longer than that. We survived.

The winds subsided long enough for us to keep pushing forward. We ended up in Purcell, which is only 31 miles from our house. It just took hours to get there. David and I are both stubborn, which is both our strength and our weakness, so with no hotels to speak of we kept going. We were determined to get home that night.

We headed over to Chickasha and on the way we were pelted with large golf ball sized hail. The hail slammed into our car and David told me to take cover under a blanket. The sound stayed with me. It was a loud crashing smashing sound that sounded like serious damage with each impact. While huddled under the blanket I prepared myself because I was sure the glass would break any second. Like the wind, even though the hail only lasted a minute or two it felt like 10 as we were stuck in bumper to bumper traffic and trapped with nowhere to go. We just had to ride it out and hope for the best, but expect the worst.

Tornado travel map

Tornado travel map

After that was over we lurched forward to Newcastle still believing we could get home. We knew the news was reporting I-35 and I-40 were shut down but thought we had a chance with I-44. Traffic was halted there, too, so that wasn’t happening. After waiting in line at McDonald’s for 20 minutes without moving we found a Braum’s that was still open. I caved and had a grilled chicken sandwich with cheese at midnight. Ever the nutrition conscious eater, I tried to remove the cheese but it was permanently glued to the rest of the grilled amalgamation I was about to eat. After the deed was done I instantly wished I hadn’t, but we were out of granola bars and we hadn’t eaten substantial in 6 hours.

Traffic was still backed up so with no other choice we slept in the car, only to be awakened by the sound of a lone shopping cart careening across the parking lot. To my surprise the bright clangy rattle of a cart galloping over the asphalt is discernible even while half asleep. We both immediately shot up from our awkward car seat sleeping positions, saw the cart was coming right for us in the with increasing speed, and drove to another spot in the mostly vacant lot. David and I watched as it continued on to where our car would have been and kept going to attack another unsuspecting vehicle.

We had difficulty going back to sleep after all the excitement with the unmanned cart so we checked on the traffic. Nothing. Roads that were packed both ways 30 minutes prior were completely empty now so we started the dark journey home.

Lights were out all over the city but we could still see the debris on the road and along the sidewalks. We were welcomed home by whole fences torn apart, trees split and uprooted, siding hanging from power lines, broken and leaning power poles, and darkness.

We finally got home around 1 am and found a massive tree down and blocking the door to neighbor behind us. The streetlights were out, too, so David turned the car around to shine the headlights in that direction and climbed over the tree limbs in an attempt to get to their door. Luckily nobody was home. We remembered bitterly that the garage door wouldn’t work without power so David had to enter from the front using his phone as a flashlight so he could go through the house and manually open the garage.

Once we got the car pulled in and the cats and supplies unloaded we settled down to text everyone who had been contacting us throughout the night to let them know we were safe.

We went room to room to assess the damage by candlelight. The condo has an insufferable existing leak in the downstairs ceiling and a leak in the wall of the upstairs bedroom closet so of course the Rubbermaid storage bin I permanently leave under the leak was full of water and the towel in the closet floor was soaked.

The upstairs was too hot and without the ceiling fan the air felt stagnant so we ended up camping out on the Ikea sofa bed downstairs. It has been a long time since I slept that well on something so uncomfortable.

So here we are. 8:22 pm the next day and we still have no power. We went and got lunch at Burger King in Moore since they had power and wi-fi, bought dry ice to try to salvage our cold food, and had ourselves a no-power feast: grilled chicken and a heated up can of sliced carrots on the grill.

We’re probably outwearing our welcome at Starbucks. We’ve been here for over an hour and my hair is a hot mess so it’s probably pretty obvious we’re squatters without power.

The sun is starting to set now and that means we’ll be going home to a dark house again. But the silver lining is that we’re safe. We’re happy. And we’re together.

Pityriasis Rosea From Zaggora Hot Top

I’m posting this in hopes to find other women who experienced Pityriasis Rosea or any other rashes from a Hot Top made by Zaggora. I have posted about them before. In fact, they were one of my favorite things from 2012 and I still love the products. I am just baffled by this rash and want to know if anyone else had this happen to them.

Zaggora came out with new colors of their Hot Top and I purchased a grey one as a Groupon Goods item.

After wearing it to work out I broke out in a weird rash that was later diagnosed as Pityriasis Rosea, a harmless rash that has a distinctive pattern. I took the medication and after it went away I wore the other tops from the same company (but from their original batch of products) and was fine. I then wore the same top again, freshly washed, and broke out in the same rash again.

I could only conclude that the Hot Top was the cause of my rash. It is a bit strange, though, because Pityriasis Rosea is generally thought to have no known cause, but some physicians believe there are triggers.

I contacted both Zaggora and Groupon, who refuse to offer a refund, exchange, or replacement in any form. I even offered to send it back to the manufacturer for analysis, but they had no interest.

In a month long email conversation with Zaggora they originally offered an exchange if I obtained a doctor’s note saying he believed it caused my rash. I obtained the note, they they said they could not locate my order. I advised again, as I stated in all emails, that I got it via Groupon Goods. The reneged on their exchange offer and  ultimately argued that it is neoprene based and that some people’s skin reacts to it.

Even though I have mentioned it in nearly every email they fail to comprehend  that I have 6 other of their neoprene items and have had no breakout whatsoever. I also scuba dive and have worn a variety of rental wetsuits while traveling, also with no breakouts.

Groupon is unable to offer a refund because it is well over their 14 day return policy by now.

Has anyone, anywhere broken out in a rash after wearing a Zaggora Hot Top? If so, please comment and let me know what color where you ordered it from.

On Disappointment

I had actually planned for my next post to be on something else entirely but I felt I needed to share this one instead. Normally I am on top of the world all of the time, one of the happiest people you’ll meet. I’m that person at the office that’s less than thrilled it is Monday but is happy to be back and around my co-workers.

Very little gets me down. I roll with the punches, shake it off, and push through it.

But today. Today was one of those days that I imagine many of my co-workers and friends lament about both on Facebook at at the office.

Today I experienced disappointment after disappointment and it was even the first weekend of Spring Break, at that. It wasn’t even a bad day. Nothing terrible happened. It was just very disappointing.

It started out with one of our cats freaking out while I was carrying him and clawing the crap out of my chest, back, and arm.

Last Wednesday I was diagnosed with Pityriasis rosea (a temporary rash with no known cause) so my poor skin just can’t get a break. Now I have scratches to match my weird splotches. That’s hot!

Then my husband and I decided to go see Oz in IMAX. Those know who me IRL know that I avoid carbs the majority of the time but I look forward to a little movie theatre popcorn once in a while. I get a small tub of unbuttered popcorn, and was bummed to discover that after the first layer it was mostly broken up pieces and kernels.

So now I’m thinking “this movie’s going to be awesome so it will make up for it.” Wrong. If you want to see Oz, wait until it comes out on DVD. It was okay. Barely “meh.” Had we seen it in non IMAX and at night when it was more expensive I would have been more sad about it. Predictable, lack-luster. I know it was a PG movie, but come on, Disney. You usually make it entertaining for adults, as well.

Then I lost an auction on some scuba equipment on eBay when I should have just chosen “Buy It Now” 3 days ago. I will be kicking myself for that one for a while.

So now I’m cut up, itchy, unsatisfied with both carbs and the movie, and am without that piece of scuba luggage. First world problems, I know. I’m happy, generally healthy, financially secure, and have an awesome soul mate to get through days like today with. In the end, that’s all that really matters. Only I am both confused and fascinated by how bummed out I got over all this. I can definitely see how back to back let downs can really get someone down in the dumps.

I definitely look forward to seeing what tomorrow brings. Surely it will be more relaxed and more full of promise.

David just suggested we make sushi tomorrow..it’s already looking up!

Have you ever had a day like mine?